If you have a lover you know that there are days that make you want to melt into a puddle of tenderness. A friend of mine likes to describe this as the warm feeling. She says;

  “We where arguing and then he did (something really corny) and then it just got warm”

 This is possibly one of the best things about being in a relationship.

 Some days though I feel nothing. I am like a black hole, a gaping void of nothingness where the loving feeling is supposed to be.  I get snappish when my boyfriend does not answer his phone the first time I try to call him. I even berate him for spreading too much butter on his bread.

 On those days I have to actively love. Somewhere in the loveless abyss I try to find a free flowing bubbling brook of love and tenderness.

 I remember the first time I  cried in front of him I was in a the tub. Instead of standing there helpless my boyfriend kissed my forehead and washed my back.

 I remember how he bought me a fireball after work and presented it like the greatest gift in the whole entire world.

 I also remind myself that despite the fact that I don’t feel like I do, I love that man and if someone called me and told me that he had been mugged and left for dead on the side of the street I would be devastated.

 Whatever I do,  I don’t believe that the oscillation of my feelings is worth anything.I know the truth and what happens on dark days is inconsequential.